South Park Fight Club
by Garriso
Summary: Imagine Fight Club taking place in South Park with the guys joining in the story. Stan takes durastic measures to win over Wendy as Tyler unleashes his plan to destroy the economy.
1. Chapter 1

This is my first fanfic and I hope you enjoy it. This involes Stan and a man named Tyler Durden (SPOILER ALERT: Fight Club plot in this story) I do not own South Park or Fight Club

Chapter one:

Stan Marsh was just a mild mannered man who worked a mundane job at a car company. He worked in the recall office and decided if the cars he inspected needed a recall. He had a few friends at his office including his best friend Kyle Brofloski who was manager of the safety and testing department. He also had another friend named Kenny McCormick who worked the noble job of a janitor. He also has another friend and roommate named Jack who goes with him to wrecks and helps Stan inspect crashes. When Stan gets home on a normal day he would usually eat diner and watch TV for the whole night. Why you my ask because Stan has insomnia. When you have insomnia you aren't really awake or asleep for that matter.

Jack's POV: I was just on my way home form Oregon when I met this guy on the plane, Tyler Durden, who makes and sells soap. When I got home I saw that there were fire trucks and police cars all around me and Stan's apartment building. When I talked to the manager he said that Stan was alright because he was picking up some groceries and if I had anyone I could call. I don't know why I called Tyler, I just figured that we could get a beer and see if me and Stan can crash at his place.

I called up Stan and told him what had happened. I told him to come home and we would discuss this. He said he could go and see if Wendy, his girlfriend, could take him in but that I was on my own. So I called Tyler to see if he could take me in. He said that we could go for a beer and discuss this. After we got a beer we went outside. "Ok"said Tyler,"you can stay with me I just want one thing." "What?" I asked "For you to hit me as hard as you can" he said.

So I hit him right in the side of the head. " you son of a bitch" he said as he hit me hard in the stomach. We then commenced to start a fight.

Stan's POV:

"What do you mean I can't stay here!?" I had yelled at Wendy as she was closing the door. "I said you can't stay here" she said slowly. "Why" I said back. "Because we're through" she said "you never pay any attention to me and I am sick of it."

After that scene I went to the nearest pay phone and called Jack and asked if I could crash wherever he was staying and he said that the owner was okay with it.

When I reached the address Jack told me I saw an old run down house that looked abandoned. When I knocked on the door a man answered. "Ah, you must be Jacks friend." he said. "Yes that's me" I replied in a shaky tone. "We'll come on in" said the man "by the way I'm Tyler" he said. After a brief tour of the house Tyler showed me to my room. "This is you, that's me" he said pointing to the door next " and the next door is the bathroom and Jack is across the hall."

This house was a dump plain and simple. When one light turned on another turned off and the water was brown. When a storm hit we would have to cut the power to the house. And for the first time in my life I didn't even miss tv.

Every Saturday me, Jack, and Tyler would head down to Lou's Bar where we would go down to the basement and host Fight Club. At the beginning of each 'meeting' Tyler would say the rules.

"The fist rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club." He addressed to the audience of about 20 people.

"The second rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about fight club" he said in a louder tone.

"The third rule of Fight Club is if a fighter yells stop or taps out the fight is over"

"The fourth rule is only two to a fight"

"The fifth rule is one fight at a time"

"The sixth rule is no shirt or shoes when fighting except for you big tits" he said to Bob who has testicular cancer and scence his nuts were removed the body pumped up the estrogen and he developed breasts.

"The seventh rule is that the fights will go on as long as they have to"

"The eighth and final rule to Fight Club is if this is your first night at Fight Club you have to fight"

A/N: Ok that's my first chapter to this and I can't wait to release the second one. Leave your thoughts about this below.


	2. Chapter 2

Ok here's chapter two

Trivia: did you know that the narrators name is actually Jack? Why do you think he always says 'I am Jacks _'

Chapter 2

Kyle POV:

"Dude I'm telling you it's awesome" said Stan in a exited tone. Me Stan Kenny and Jack were siting in the canteen if our building eating lunch. "You know you are breaking rules one and two" said Jack in a sly tone. "Well I think I'll go" said Kenny. "Yeah I'll try it out" said Kyle."Great" said Stan.

Kenny POV:

I had always assumed something like this was around and it was kind of crappy. But, Fight a Club is really fun. I don't know if it's the fights or the community or Tyler. I just don't know. The best comparison I can make is a smoke after a long day. It's just relaxing in a sort of way.

Stan POV:

It's been a few weeks since Tyler started to hand out "homework" assignments. They were in sealed envelopes and the assignments were stuff like "fight a random person and lose" or "lay spike stripes down on a gated community road and giggle while Lamborghini tires pop" stuff like that. It's kind of weird that the guys have so much determination to do this shit. When I asked Tyler about this he just said it was a part of his plan.

I went back to Wendy's apartment to see if we could patch things. But when I aproched the doors I heard moans and inappropriate sounds. When I got home I cried. I needed her.

Ij sorry this is very short I didn't have enough time to type this up because of school.


	3. Chapter 3

Hey sorry for not updating for a while. I do not own South Park or Fight Club.

Chapter 3:

Stan POV:

I was in the ring against a blonde nicknamed Angel Face. I don't know his real name but whenever someone brought up the subject he would try to escape. I pined him and started to punch him as hard as I could, like he was the guy with Wendy last night, like he was the spokes person for all of those French beaches I would never see. I wanted to breathe smoke. When he went limp I got off of him, his face was covered in blood.

"Get him to a hospital," Tyler said.

When i sat down to take a break Tyler came up to me. "What made you go all crazy?"

I replied "None of your business" in a gruff tone. "Okay Okay" he replied.

We went outside and got into a car. Me ,Tyler, Jack, and Kenny. It was raining really hard. When we got on the highway to get home Tyler said "so what made you go so crazy back there?" "I'm having a lot of stressful stuff happening in my life and it's starting to take a toll" "just let go" I was wondering what he meant by that. Then suddenly he let go of the cars wheel. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING" I yelled. He tried to stop me form grabbing the wheel but when I did, it was to late. We crashed.

Okay that was chapter three. I am basing the story off the movie and not the book. And I am bending the plot events around a little too. Like the car scene in the movie happened after Project Mayhem was started. And once again sorry it's short but I don't have enough time to write these.


	4. Chapter 4

Hey. I only own what's mine.

Jack POV

Everything was dark, I thought this was it. But I heard a voice calling my name. I thought I was in the "Afterlife"(A/N I have a lot of atheist views on things. So no Heaven or Hell.)but when I opened my eyes I saw the car. It looked like a bag of chips. I saw that the person calling me was Stan. He pulled me up and said "Tyler is mkay but Kenny died." "You bastard" I yelled as I punched Tyler in the face. When we hitchhiked back home I passed out on my bed.

When I woke up and looked out the window and saw a guy from the Club on the porch. I think his name was Jared or something like that. When I asked Tyler about it he said that all new recruits must stand out there for three days with no food but with one bathroom break a day and one bottle of water.

A few hours later Kenny and Kyle showed up and so did Bob. And I was left wondering where they were going to sleep. Then I heard the buzzing of power tools and the banging of a hammer from the basement. When I went down to see what was happening I saw Stan and Tyler. "Hey Jack" said Stan as he handed me some nails and a hammer. Start making bunk beads. "Help out the cause." He said in a gleeful tone as he went to complete the bed he was making. As confused as I was I went to work and throughout the day I tormented the recruits.

three days later.

Stan POV

It's been three days since those recruits showed up and by now we had about ten guys waiting outside. Tyler asked me to come out with him and to evaluate the recruits. He went up to Bob Kenny Kyle and the other guy and said "You four must go out and get one pair of black boots two black long sleeve shirts one black ski mask two pairs black pants a box for storage and three hundred dollars in cash to help the cause. Then come back here and I will show you to your quarters" This was the start of Project Mayhem.

Hope you like this and I think I am going to stick to this kind of chapter setup and I'll try to go for a chapter every week.


	5. Chapter 5

Here's this weeks chapter. I own Jack Crap in Hollywood.

Kyle POV:

These past few days here on Paper ST. have been pretty exiting to say the least. Like the day after me and Kenny got in we all went to Jack and Stan's old apartment building and combined a bunch of chemicals and drew a smiley face on the side of the building and setting the eyes on fire. We also did a job where we would destroy a piece of corporate art and a Starbucks but it backfired and Bob died by gunshot to the head from the police.

I haven't heard much form Stan sconce the crash. These past few weeks he just locks himself in his room and only comes out for missions and meals.

Stan POV:

I feel bad about beating up Angel Face so bad but I have been miserable since I went to Wendy's I just want to be alone. I really would like to contribute to Project Mayhem but I am depressed to do so.

I think I will talk to Tyler and all of the other administrators about doing a mission involving the guy who was with her that night.

A week later.

"Hey Stan come here." Yelled Tyler from the planing room. "We found your guy, Eric Cartman."

Hope you like this chapter. Sorry for the delay.


	6. Chapter 6

Here's the next chapter for you.

Stan POV

I couldn't believe it. Eric fucking Cartman. That fat ass from my childhood was banging Wendy. I wanted to punch somebody. I wanted to maim someone. I wanted to kill.

"Dude, DUDE!" Tyler was yelling in my face. "What do you want to do about this?" "Let's do something that fatass won't forget." I said in a dark tone.

Three days later...

Cartman was doing well for a racist piece of shit. He had a mansion right next to Tokens old house. I remember when I was sixteen Token moved to New York and his house was sold to a retailer who then turned it into an orphanage or something. We were approaching his house and starting the first phase of our plan. We were going to infiltrate the house and rob it while another team lights a bonfire to distract Cartman and get him out of the house. But if push comes to shove I have a silenced pistol on my belt. When the fire started me and Kyle repeled into the house via the roof and started the heist. We found a load of antiques which we smashed. We also found a load of money in various safes around the house that could be used to fund Project Mayhem. We were suiting up to get out via the roof again when we heard a door slam behind us. We saw Cartman with a 12 gage pump action shotgun pointed right at us. Time seemed to go in slow motion as I grabbed my gun and shot a bullet right through the knee(a/n sue me its my story). As he fell in pain we were hauled up by Tyler and Angel Face. I had just realized when we were running away that we weren't wearing masks or anything and assumed that we wouldn't encounter Cartman and that he was probably going to tell the police which wasn't a problem we had friends in the force who would get me and Kyle out of trouble, but the real kicker.

Wendy.

Hope you liked that chapter.


	7. Chapter 7

Here is the next chapter. Please leave your thoughts about this story below. I don't own South Park or Fight Club.

Stan POV:

When we got back to the safe house we through the biggest party that has ever happened. EVER. We had everything from hard beer to house order strippers.

The next morning I woke up with a really bad hangover. When I got to my senses I realized I was in the yard with no shirt on and I saw someone standing in front of me. When I stood up I said "Hello" in the most slured way ever. When a female voice responded with an angry voice I knew right away that it was Wendy. "Oh. hey Wendy!" I said in an exited tone. "What the fuck happened!" She said in a tone that would make any man shake In fear. "What are you talking about?" "Cartman" At that moment I knew that I screwed up. "What about him?" I masked in the calmest tone possible. "He's in the hospital and I wanted to see if you and Kyle and Kenny would like to visit him." When she said that i could've kissed her right there on the spot. I realized that I could finish him off at the hospital. I went inside and asked if Kenny and Kyle if they wanted to come. They said no. I also put on a shirt and grabbed a little vile of poison and my silenced pistol just in case it got hairy.

When we got to reception we had to wait a few hours before we could see him "So, what happened to him?"I asked her. "Some thugs robbed his place and when the police arrived that found him on the floor with a bullet in his knee. When they investigated his house further they found 20 pounds of blue crystal meth." "So why are you dating him?" at that moment I knew that I hit it home. "What! How did you find out?" "I came by a few weeks ago and heard you two." "Oh, Stan I'm so sorry that I've been a bitch to you these past few weeks. I know that you are just trying to get by and you only have so much time." Then, she kissed me

When we could see Cartman we had to go in one at a time because Cartman was apparently in a drug ring and is now in protective custody. The good thing was they had no one in the room when I went in. He was in a kind of in a half awake half asleep phase. So when he saw me he was fully awake and he was shivering in fear and muttering a prayer. "Please don't hurt me" he said in a scared voice. "This won't hurt a bit" I took a syringe that was on the doctors desk and filled it with poison. I then injected it in to the IV system and then he started to fade away as I was taking off the gloves I wore during the act. "Cartman, you fucked the wrong person this time. Oh and Kyle says Respect My Athorotah." when. I got out of the room me. And Wendy got out of there immediately. She dropped me off at the house and I kissed her goodbye.

Sorry its been a while but school is bring my free time down.


End file.
